I’m pregnant now, and that’s a huge change in my life. For 28 years (10 of which I have spent with my husband) I have been child free, kicking back, doing what I want and pretty carefree. Sure, a lot has changed over the years, but nothing quite of this magnitude. I understand that this is a change for some of my friends, too.
And I also know a lot of other people are pregnant right now. I wanted to put this together....nice and neat and in list form and all, so that we can pass it around so that our friends without kids will know what we want to say, but sometimes have the trouble finding the courage to just come out with. Mmm’kay.
We still want to be invited places
Might we decline a little more than usual? It’s possible; it depends on what type of pregnancy (read: day) we are having. But it’s nice to be thought of and included, even if we can’t make it. Also, money might be a little tighter than it was a few months ago (we’re planning for a baby here!) so if you think we are declining because we can’t afford it, invite us to do something we don’t have to pay for. Pretty please....
No matter how anti-baby we were before, we ARE excited about our child
Someone casually joked with me when I said that I would prefer a crying infant to morning sickness saying, “Yea, talk to me a few months!” Granted, this was a person without children, (who has never experienced morning sickness, obviously) but to review: I am pregnant by choice and because I WANT a child. I get it, I’m not the biggest kid-lover on planet earth. However, I am pretty gosh darn excited about MY kid--crying or not. People change, get over it.
We are sober, emotional, and scared
I don’t know about the second time mommies out there, but it’s my first time on the merry-go-round of childbearing and it’s a scary ride! As if the hormones weren’t enough (hello, I just watched a Cheerios commercial and was BAWLING), we’re also sober. So-ber. Most of the time we don’t mind any of these things, but you know what helps? Someone asking us what is going on those crazy heads of ours. Lend an ear, dear friend, we may be in need!
Yes, we have changed, but still....
Yes, it’s true, something immediately seems to shift when a woman knows she’s pregnant, and I am sure that our friends are picking up on this. We are trying not to only talk about nurseries and growing bellies and co-sleeping--we swear! We still want to make dirty sex jokes, and listen to your gossip, too, though and the fact that we are friends, well, that hasn’t changed. So if we are annoying you with all our mom-to-be baby fever, just tell us, we are friends, after all.
We will re-emerge, we promise
This baby will be born and yes, that will change a lot of things...like, you know, we’ll be able to drink again! It’s sort of like when you get a new boyfriend and then you guys get totally serious and move in together and then we don’t see you for about a year. After that year you re-emerge, and we will too. Be patient, we promise we’ll return the favor someday.