So, I was published on xoJane.com last week, abotu the mommy war thing. It was great and people's comments were much, how should I say....nicer and thoughtful than my last experience. All of which was great. But I got a comment or two that talked about doctor's giving that sort of treatment to "young mothers." Of course, I chuckled a little bit because looking at the picture, I do, in fact, look like a "young mother."
But it also got me thinking...what exactly IS a young mother these days?? Maybe I truly do qualify, although I really don't think I do. My brother and his wife have a child, and she was 20 when she gave birth. To me, that's a young mother. A friend of mine, who is also pregnant and is 21 asked me if this was going to be my only child (because I'm 28.) To me, she is a young mother. Teen moms, they are young mothers...but me?
It's hard for me because I do, in fact, FEEL young. I don't feel a day over 22! But as far as feeling young to be a mom, it's just not something I feel at all...and it makes sense. After being with my husband for 10+ years, and having planned a pregnancy and being almost 30 (not that 30 is "old" but it's experienced if nothing else) I feel I am more a parent in my prime than anything else.
Not that the world treats me that way. Because of the way I look, which isn't really a day over 22 (and I'm being generous, I'm more often mistaken for a teenager in public), people often assume that I am much younger than my years. Most of the time, this has been a welcomed thing for me. Being pregnant, though, sometimes it makes me just a tad self conscious; especially when I am out with my mom and she hears people whispering, "Oh my god, did you see that young girl--she's pregnant!" Yikes!
And then there is the fact that some of my friends who are over 35 were thrown into "older mother" category when they were pregnant. I think medically they consider it higher risk. I was equally perplexed by this because 35 isn't too far from where I am from....What can't be overlooked here, though, is the fact that women are having children later and later in life. Women well into their 40s are having their first children and to them, I am quite sure that I look like a young parent.
Not that we have to label it. We really don't, but I'm genuinely curious. Where do I fall on this spectrum or am I in a proverbial no-man's land? Am I not really young and not really old? Does neither category really fit the stage of life for which I have chosen to procreate? Because truly, I do seem to be smack dab in the middle of all my friends who either had babies a couple of years ago or are older than me and doing it now.
So, I give it to you guys, my awesome readers. What do you think is a "young mom?" What qualifies and what's the cut off? How do you feel as a mom (or even a dad!) at the age you are--young or getting older? Share it with me in the comments sections below!