I Hate Your Kid's Made Up Name!

I know that I am going to offend some people here, but I just feel like it needs to be said. And I'm not trying to be mean, only realistic, I swear. I understand that every parent wants to be original and that choosing a name for their child is a big deal. Parents want their child's name to be unique and special. I get it, really. But I absolutely hate this new trend of people "making up" new that are just downright horrible.

It's like a bunch of white parents decided that their names weren't keeping up with the creativity of our black counterparts and so they tried to stack up and failed miserably. Like the time they tried to take over the Harlem Shake.

Or there is the scenario that you want to take your name and your husband's name and combine them to make a whole new name. Why? Whoever thought that was a good idea? Don't you think if it were, it would already be a name? Does it say anything more about you and your husband besides that you are self-centered and grasping at straws to feign creativity?

It. Has. Got. To. Stop. 

If I hear one more kid named something ridiculous like "Brinlee" or "Maston" or "Wyler" I'm going to screeeeeeeeeam. These aren't real names. They don't sound cool, and these little kids are going to grow up and have to live with their names in a professional world where everyone is going to have to do a double take to understand what the heck they introduced themselves as. I can just hear someone reading a resume from a "Maston Jones" while wondering if this person is, in fact, a human and not someone's dog (or as my husband said, "a pre-homosapian human species").

I'm not a teacher, but I did go to school for teaching once for about three years, and I can tell you definitively that teachers are NOT paid enough to try and decipher your creative child's name while calling role in class.

And while I am on it, can people also stop misspelling otherwise perfectly good names?! I'm not talking about exchanging a "c" for a "k," but more so parents taking it over the top and changing a sensible "Madeline" into "Madellyne." Suddenly "Emerson" is "Emersynn" and I, for the love of god, cannot understand why! It makes me wonder if parents are making these letter swaps because they really don't know how to spell their own kid's name. And when it comes time to learn basic spelling and grammar, I think they really run the risk of their kid calling them out and being like, "Did you know there is a much easier way to spell my name?"

When you are naming your children, please, think about their futures. Think about the fact that they will have to spell their names out hundreds and hundreds of times to admissions officers, bosses, bill companies and lots of other people. Think that this whole made up name thing could be a fad and that an entire generation is going to have to suffer with these "unique" names. Think about the fact that this is the name that will make their way in the world with and they may, at some point, want to be taken seriously. And it might be hard to to take a "Rylan" seriously. 

6 comments:

  1. *high fives* THANK.YOU. I think there's a difference between a unique name and a "you-neeeeek" name. My daughter and I fall into the former category; our names are common in Italy, but fairly uncommon in the U.S. (In case you're wondering, my name is pronounced "Mar-eeeeeeeee-sa," and trust me that gave me enough issues growing up. Having everyone and their brother mispronounce your name is an epic pain in the ass). My mom is a teacher, and she absolutely can't stand the you-neek names of many of her students. And you're totally right; the deliberate misspelling of perfectly normal names is enough to make me see red.

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    1. While many people don't mispronounce my name, I do get a lot of the "Is that short for something" or "Is your name Billie Jean?!" So I feel you on the frustration factor. And this is all part of my point--it's hard enough with "normal" names...add the rest in and well, it's just a recipe for disaster.

      I bet your mom is totally fed up with these ridiculous names! I can't even imagine being a teacher with all these silly spellings and "new" names...can you picture their first day each year?! Sheesh!

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  2. I absolutely agree with you, and couldn't have said it better myself! One of my friends said I like"old fashioned" names. I say no, I like classic names that won't have people wondering if my child is a farm dog or a stripper! Easy as that. Love your post. New fan of your blog, can't wait to read more! Off to follow....
    Lisa http://powersofloveetsy.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thanks Lisa--glad you found me!! I can't wait to check out your blog as well.

      I am always really happy to see the return of more classic names. Especially Henry, which seems to have made quite a come back these couple of years! I would rather have a kid with a name like Ester than Sparkle....or Paislee.

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  3. This coming from the girl who is naming her kid Ruby Bird? Because that is a justifiable name determined by who? I'll give you Ruby (even though my friend has a dog named Ruby), but Bird? When did we start naming children after animals? Would it be appropriate if I named my next child Josephine Dog? Frances Rabbit? Does this article ONLY apply to first names and middle names are fair game?

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    1. Judging from your ridiculous reaction, your kid must have a doozie of a made up name!!! Haha!

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