Right after we got married last year, I was doing some web surfing when I came across an article about signs that you and yours would get a divorce. I probably shouldn’t have opened the link, but open the link I did. I was relieved to see that each and every one of the problems that were a sign of divorce did not apply to me--except one. Apparently a big, bad sign in a marriage is eye rolling. Of this offense, I am guilty with a capital G.
Hi everyone, my name is Billie and I am a big, fat eye roller.
One would think that seeing such a thing in black and white would curb my bad behavior, but, alas, it did not. In fact, in the last year, I would probably say that my eye rolling has reached more epic proportions than ever. Why? I don’t have a good answer for that. I guess I am just addicted to rolling my eyes. Maybe seeing it print ignited an eye-rolling fury within me!
It all started sometime between conception and birth, which is when, I am pretty sure, I developed this bad habit. What I am trying to say is that it’s pretty much like being a nail biter or something... it was so ingrained that I hardly knew I was doing it! And I did it so much that I found my husband constantly offended with me which, in turn, was making me roll my eyes even MORE!
Well, things finally came to a head one afternoon when my husband expressed that it was literally driving him crazy. All joking aside, I had to break my habit of eye rolling if I was going to be a more respectful wife (and probably just more mature human being, in general.) Of course, the only thing I could think to do at the time was to roll my eyes, which clearly wasn’t helping anything.
At the time my thought process went something almost identical to this: seriously, how in the world am I supposed to break myself of a habit when I don’t even know that I am doing it sometimes? I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I had to break the habit because I was just not willing to let eye rolling destroy my union; I mean, how utterly ridiculous would that be? And I guess it really is offensive to people--not just “cheeky” as I formerly believed [or tried to convince myself of.]
So just how did I break my bad habit... or was it all futile, causing my marriage to crash and burn in a ball of eye rolling flames? I started by trying to make myself more aware of the behavior itself. And then came the hard part: not giving in. Maybe it had more to do with my attitude than the behavior itself... like when I would get all “huffy” then I would naturally roll my eyes in response to anything I didn’t want to listen to.
Nonetheless, by being more aware and really trying to listen with an open heart seemed to really do a lot of good for my annoying habit. That, and I like to think that my husband also tried to be his very best and not give me reasons to “get rolling.” But the point is that it could be eye rolling, picking your crack, or spitting in the kitchen sink--if it’s offensive to your spouse, or to anyone who is important to you for that matter, shouldn’t you at least try to do it less?
That is not to say that I don’t have moments when I slip up and find my eyes going in a circle--there certainly are those. But it sure happens a lot less now, and I think the household is more harmonious for it. Was it the worst habit in the world? Of course not... but it’s generally the straw that breaks that camel’s back, and I wasn’t about to prove that stupid marriage article right!