Sex on the First Date?


When it comes to the world of dating, women have been liberated from their traditional roles. It’s no longer taboo for a woman to ask a man out or take the “aggressor” role. We just aren’t attached to gender ideals like we used to be, and that is a-okay with me. But, when it comes to the first date, is socially acceptable to sleep together?

There will likely be a lot of people who say an emphatic “no” to this rule. Promiscuity is looked down upon, and many associate the act of sleeping with someone on the first date as a gateway drug to promiscuity. [Obviously], they reason, a man will think you’re slutty if you sleep with them on a first date. As for the man’s side? Well, it’s less taboo for them, I suppose.

As for me, I happen to be on the opposite side. It’s perfectly acceptable to sleep with a guy on the first date--or even before. For those of you who didn’t the Halloween Love Story, I will let you in on a not-so-secret secret of mine: I slept with my husband BEFORE the first date. Yes, it’s true... and I can also tell you this: I am by no means promiscuous.

I always aspired to be, though. Crazy right?

What I mean is that I had always planned for my life to be a romantic one with lots of exotic men who passed through until: BOOM! One magic man would come along and there would be no turning back. About this, I turned out to be very wrong. My number is smaller than 10 and bigger than 5. Nothing to sneer at, but nothing outrageous. It’s pretty tame.

Though I may be no lioness when it comes to multiple men, I was, even at my young age, sure of what I wanted first and foremost in a dating partner: sexual compatibility. This was a lesson that I had learned where sexual liberation began for me: high school. I dated men based on looks, smarts, wanting to break the rules... and then right near the end of high school I dated one guy just for the sex.

Dating for the sex changed things for me because I knew that I didn’t want to ever waste time on bad sex again. Life if just too short. So, when I encountered my future husband (unbeknownst to me) I was ready to get down to brass tax. So sleep with him I did. After a great experience, I was happy to date him, and when I got to know him, of course, I fell hard and fast in love with him.

Maybe I was lucky enough to meet Mr. Right... maybe I am just more into sex than others. I am not advocating that all women go out there and sleep with men before dating them, or that sex alone will hold a relationship together. Certainly you must act i accordance with your own standards. What I am suggesting, though, is that if you are the type of woman who doesn’t want to waste time on a date if there is no “there” there, then you shouldn't feel badly about it.

People want different things in life, and sleeping with someone on the first date isn’t the worst thing in the world. The worst thing in the world is not knowing what you want. If you are comfortable with yourself and your decisions, then you should go for it. Our society has to be able to liberate itself from these ridiculous notions about sex; it’s a natural thing. Of course, always done with a measure of protection... eh-hem.

As for the man who gets the goods on the first date, well, the pressure is on, isn’t it? You better put on the performance of your life if you want to get to that second date because chances are that the lady who’s throwing down on the first night is good at it, too! Sure, you can choose to see a woman like that as “easy,” but if you do, I wonder what that really says about you in the long run...everyone should be secure in their decisions and therefore, unashamed!

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