Four More Years!

No I am not talking about the election, actually, and frankly you should know me better than that by now. What am I talking then? Babies. They have been everywhere lately--a pervasive little bunch of ankle biters. My brother is having one. Several of my friends. Several of his friends. Friends of friends and their friends too.... everyone seems to be having them!

After that Skype baby shower, I guess I wanted to talk about babies, too. It's a strange feeling watching your younger brother have a child. It came as a shock to me, anyway...not so much to my husband. He always thought my brother would be a young father and he hoped it would settle him a bit. He was right.

As for me? Well, this is a sort of funny ongoing dilemma we seemed to be having. After we married (like, right after we married) I announced that I didn't think I wanted children--like at all. Daren was furious with me because, as I said, we had just gotten married and he did want children. So I searched my soul, looked under rocks, and consulted magic 8 balls to see if maybe I really did want to have children...

I concluded that my desire to be with my husband outweighed my stubbornness and if he wanted to have a kids, well, I could try anything once! And when I told him as much he had a funny reaction: he wasn't really ready to have kids, either! Divine how that works, right? So fast forward to now, which is nearly two years later and here we are: moments after my brother's Skype baby shower and I'm wondering if we're ever going to do it.

I sensed his hesitancy immediately. I could tell he was afraid his answer would disappoint me. I assured him that whatever he felt it wouldn't disappoint me because I just don't' care all that much about the child issue. How funny, then, that he did pick the election year to let to me know that he wants to go "four more years" without a child. In other words, we'll discuss in four years.

In four years, I am going to be turning 31 years old. Not that I think 31 is particularly old--I don't--but I always maintained I wanted children before 30 because of my metabolism and family history.... so much for that plan. And, of course, a lot can happen in four years. In four years Daren and I will have been together for 13 years. He'll be over 35. Maybe we won't even want the same things as we want now... maybe we won't want a child at all.

And surprisingly, I wasn't disappointed in the least. I was relieved that I didn't have to join the ranks of the diaper-toting, bottle wielding friends of mine. Not because I don't like children--I adore my friend's children--but because I also like coffee in bed, and I like to spoil those kids and then watch them go home. I like when they look at me with wonder because they think I'm the nutso friend of their parents. And that is enough for me.... at least for four more years. 

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