The Crazy Cat Ladies

You’ve heard the term “crazy cat lady” used to describe that woman who has more cats than dates. Her house sort of reeks of litter box, and you can’t understand why in the world she needs so many ceramic statues of cats on her mantle... nor do you understand her need to wear knitted sweaters with kitties on them. But wear them she does.

Women like cats, it seems... I assume there are men who loves cats, too, but you never hear anyone going on and on about the “crazy cat man.” And I was starting to wonder why.

What is it about women that makes them become crazier over animals, in general, than their male counterparts? Is it because women, despite their best efforts, are natural caretakers and when they feel a lack of that certain something in their lives, nothing fills it like a feline?

Cats are, after all, sort of like men. They are often fussy, only wanting to come to you when it’s convenient for them. You can be having a perfectly wonderful pet session with a kitty, and then, the next you know, they bite your ass in a fit on rage and run off... obviously, just like a man. And they are private about their emotions, but when something is wrong, they cry like little babies, over and over until they get your attention.

So I guess in some ways, the cat is a preferable trade off for the single gal, especially on a temporary basis. But for many crazy cat ladies, they cross a threshold into the world of asexuality where they no longer date or even hope to pursue dating. They become so inexplicably tied to their throngs of furry coated friends that they seem to have forgotten that men ever existed.

Thank god that cats were never quite my cup of tea. Don’t get me wrong--of course I have A cat. Everyone needs one, just like everyone needs a life mate, but that is where I draw the line. One little ball of chaotic fur is about all I need to fulfill my propensity for pet-style torture. And I love my cat, don’t get me wrong, but our relationship is more of careful observation than anything else.

I am more of a dog person... dogs are a little more social, and while people do get a tad cuckoo over their dogs, it is somehow more socially acceptable to have figurines of your wiener dog (yup, I got at least 2 or 3) than it is to wax nostalgic about your cat’s “awesome personality.” Still, even with all of these things considered, I secretly follow those posts my friends make on Facebook, doting on their cats....and I am still guilty of watching cat videos on YouTube. [I mean, seriously, have you see the cat and llama videos? They are to die for!]

So what can be said for the crazy cat ladies of our society? Are they lonely? Are they just fed up with men and have traded them in for psychologically complicated companions with which they can’t communicate? Perhaps we’ll never know. Maybe they have crossed the point of no return in the dating world, or something has snapped inside them. I mean, if I had 26 cats, something in me would probably snap, and it would be likely to have been my wallet.

Whatever the case, society takes diversity, and somehow, although we haven’t got the answer just yet, crazy cat ladies are an intricate part of our ever-morphing matrix. Who knows, perhaps they have the key to the universe, and as it turns out, cats are the smartest creatures on the planet... they just knew they couldn’t trust their secrets with just anyone--especially gals in relationships because the first place they go is to their companions, thereby spilling the secret to the universe. And by that time, the cat’s outta the bag.

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