Ladies: Do You LOVE Your Vagina?!


I thought this squash looked very vaginal! 

Nearly any woman will remember that scene from “Fried Green Tomatoes” where Kathy Bates has a meltdown because she can’t look at her own vagina in a hand mirror. There are actually several references to looking at your “va jay jay” with a hand mirror strewn across dozens of television shows and movies; some women can look, and others just can’t. So, it begs the question, when is the last time you looked at yours, or are you feeling dejected by the fact that you, like Kathy Bates, can’t look at it?

It’s a sensitive issue for women. The female orgasm wasn’t really recognized as “useful” for reproduction, and the minimized importance of our pleasure lead to a societal notion that we must not require it for WAY too many years of existence. Ultimately, that meant less love for the curious vulva....

Not having control over our reproductive rights for the larger part of our human history also bred a silence among humankind when it came to "talking sex" and in particular, the female perspective of sexuality. We weren’t even talking about sex, let alone how awesome orgasms are... so one could assume that no one was out there cultivating confidence for the vagina during that time either.

Marrying for love as well as the concept of sexual liberation for women are relatively "new" concepts, but I think we are adjusting rather well. Women are really coming more and more into their own on the heels of women’s liberation. We have really taken in the lessons of our mothers and grandmothers and integrated them into our realities. It would be safe to say that loving your vagina is a concept that is also relatively new, but also easier for women of my generation. Thank you, thank you, Dr. Ruth!

I have always been fascinated by my own vagina, truth be told, and I don’t mean this to be funny or cute in any way. Maybe it’s because my mother always told me how special it was to be a woman. Women are the ones who have children, and I think that makes us the givers of life. We can also feed children from our breasts, which seems like a pretty cool concept to me. Let's face it, women totally rock, and it IS special.

In my home growing up, there was nothing taboo about discussing the body or it’s functions. I was handed a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves at the age of 12, and I learned all about the vagina and it’s many glorious functions. Of course, there were lots of pictures, with lines pointing out the different parts, too. [Knowing what you are looking at really helps!]

When I was becoming a young teenager, the internet was really becoming a part of our lives, and there was a gamut of information available to those looking for it. I was looking for it, and BOY was that a wealth of sexual info! All that information at my fingertips really helped me to cultivate a healthy appreciation for myself, and my vagina.

Not everyone was raised in a liberal, sexually free environment as I feel I was, and I get that. There are still households in America where sex isn’t discussed openly, and where mothers don’t tell their daughters that being a woman is unique and awesome. (And that this awesomeness extends to our vaginas!) If you haven't heard it enough, let me say it to you plainly:  being a woman is awesome! And isn't it a wonder that each and every vagina is as unique as the woman it belongs to? Be shaven bare, or with a landing strip. Be it of large clitoral stature, or modest but mighty--we are all unique, we are all awesome!

If you find yourself blushing behind the screen of your computer as you read this, you probably aren’t alone. You know that Bossy Italian Wife is all about loving yourself, though, and part of my mission as a liberated woman is to help you love yourself, too. I want you to love yourself and your va jay jay. I once had a theater teacher who described the vagina as a "mysterious cave," and I think that it's a theatrically accurate description. Perhaps that is why it takes women a little while to be acquainted with their mysterious caves.

Now I don’t know if a hand mirror is the way to go or not, but it’s important to have a good knowledge of your body. Find ways to love and celebrate yourself. I’m a big fan of dancing naked in my mirror, but you know, whatever gets you there. And I have to say it: you gotta know what makes you feel good, and you shouldn't be ashamed AT ALL. How are you supposed to direct someone else to give you pleasure if you haven't got an idea what feels good on your own?

So, ladies, what are some ways that you love yourself, and what do you think keeps women from having stellar self esteem and vaginal love? Share your thoughts, tips, and comments in the comments section below!

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