Things I Want My [Childless] Friends To Know

Having a kid changes everything whether you like it or not. I love love love my childless friends. They are my connection to the world I once knew, but let's be honest, it's different now. And there are things that my childless friends may not understand. I want to help bridge the gap between us. So here's my list of things I want my childless friends to know!

If I can be on time, so can you
When I didn't have a kid, and you were late, it was not a big deal. Now? I am cursing the gods when you are late. I'm on a schedule. My time just ain't what it used to be. And even with a kid, I still show up on time, which means I was getting ready while you were still farting around doing people without  kids stuff. So please, make it a point to be on time. You can do it, I swear.

I'm so grateful when you come to me
I am super grateful when you take the time to come to me. Because loading up a kid takes untold amounts of planning. Because it's nice to see you. And because I know that hanging out at my house with me and child probably isn't the most exciting thing in whole, wide world. I'm grateful. Thank you.

I can't always control what goes down where my kid is involved 
Sometimes things will go as predicted, and sometimes they just won't. She's a kid. She is a tiny human with needs that vary and change and oh yeah, she doesn't talk yet, so I just get to figure those out as we go along. So if plans change halfway through our visit, it is what it is. Sorry (not sorry).

I can't afford shit anymore 
Not that I could really afford things in the past, either, let's just be honest...but now, it's even tighter. Yes, it blows, but I got this whole other person who is counting on me to keep the lights on and pay the rent. Sheesh. So I can't go out and spend money. No, not even on a coffee. Can't. Afford. Shit.

Every once in a while, I'll say yes
So, yes, I know I just said I can't afford shit anymore (and I meant it.) But there is a caveat here: sometimes I will accept an invite for a party, night out, etc. So please, KEEP ASKING! Just don't be offended when I say no 90% of the time. That 10%, though, I will say yes because I really want to say yes most of the time, I'm just not able to.

Just because I stay at home, doesn't mean I have all kinds of time 
I've heard a few comments here and there that suggest I just have all kinds of time on my hands. For the record, I am typing this 8:30AM, while constantly maneuvering the keyboard away from my child's tiny hands. Just because I stay at home with my kid doesn't mean I am not extremely busy. Try keeping a pre-verbal little person occupied all day. She has a less than five minute attention span! It's hard to imagine when you work all day what it might be like to be home instead, but trust me, you've got way more free time than I do....but I'm probably a better planner than you, so there's that.

Don't assume that I'm awake at 7:00AM 
Nothing chaps my ass more than being woken up before I'm ready. I was brought up not to call someone before 9:00AM, and not after 9:00PM. When did people begin to think it was okay to text or call me before that time? Yes, I have a baby, but she's asleep too, and when you wake her up, I get woken up and then the whole day is a black hole. Observe the 9-9 rule and no one gets hurt.

I'm not recruiting you to the dark side 
Believe it or not, I'm happy you don't have kids. I don't want to recruit you to have children just because I have one because this is a more than full time job and it never goes away. You have the energy to come over, play with my kid, talk with me, and you even have money to bring me booze (thank you, thank you!). So this arrangement is working out just fine. But if you want to fantasize about having kids, I'll gladly listen. I'll even talk you out of it if that's what you want. *Wink, wink*

Are you a parent? What would you add to this list?? Share it in the comments section below! 

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