We Need To Talk: Mr. Perfect

I often hear my single friends talking about their “perfect man.” They tell me what their perfect man would do, what kind of job he would have, how he would treat them, and, above all, how perfect their lives would suddenly be if they found him.... because somewhere in their hearts they believe that Mr. Perfect is out there.

So they look, and they look. They find a dozen Mr. Wrongs and a few Mr. Right Nows and all the while they are wondering where in the heck Mr. Perfect is. In my estimation, the more they look, the longer they fantasize about him (and the longer the list of his wonderful qualities gets,) the harder he becomes to find in real life.

I have to be the bearer of bad news on this one. Much as I hate to break it to you: Mr. Perfect does not exist. But here’s the good news: deep in your heart, much as you want to find him, you would be really disappointed if you actually did. In short, we are all lucky that Mr. Perfect doesn’t exist in real life. You know who does? Mr. Perfect For You. He’s going to be imperfect and perhaps even nothing of what you envisioned, but odds are, you won’t even notice.

Flawlessness is boring and, if I am being perfectly candid, it’s annoying as well. Inevitably, we humans screw up, and when you do, you want your significant other to understand that piece of your humanity. If they are a picture-perfect portrait of everything that’s right, how would that make you feel? Perhaps a little unfit and certainly unworthy?

Listing desirable qualities in a man (or a woman) may seem like a good pastime, but it’s not as good an idea as you might think. Once you have set an expectation you have also set the stage for disappointment. A lot of single people fall into this trap of thinking that everything they want is available to them in a single person and it just isn’t. And you know what? It’s okay!

What I can tell you from my own experience is that my husband and I are far from perfect...heck, we probably aren’t even one hundred percent perfect for one another. At the end of the day, though, we love each other and that is wind that fills our sails and sets our course on the sea of marriage.

No matter who you end up loving, there will be things about them that don’t necessarily make you swoon. Like, for instance, the fact that I turn on the lights and very frequently forget to turn them off--that drives my husband bonkers. Or the fact that he sometimes drives waaay too slow up the driveway and that sometimes makes me want to scream. And there are other things, as I am sure you can imagine.

That’s the thing about love... it usually breaks all the rules. What you think you were looking for doesn’t really matter when you find someone who sparks the love light in your heart. So if you have been listing your perfect man’s qualities, perhaps you should take a look outside the box and see what possibilities you might have counted out. Because where love is involved, you just never can tell....

Tell me: what have you counted on in the past that you didn't get and were thankful for?? Was it a relationship that didn't work out that lead to something else great, or a job perhaps you thought you wanted that ended up turning out great?! Share in the comments section below!


  1. Also, hate to break it to the ladies..If your guy smokes the weed and he is happy and productive. LEAVE HIM THE HELL ALONE!

    1. Or if you are a guy and feeling like that is the most important thing to you, find a gal who is just as into as you, I guess. But keep in mind, people do like to move on from things in life and what was cool in your early-mid 20s might be less so as they get older.

      Just sayin'.