How To Be A Perfect Italian Wife

I'm not even joking when I say that people google this term and end up finding my blog. "How to be a perfect Italian wife." Sheesh. It makes me think that there are a lot of demanding Italian-American men out there expecting perfection from their white bread wives; but that is just what I made up in my head--who knows if it is true at all.

Be that as it may, I wanted to give an actual post so that those googlers could find a better answer, something more direct if you will. The only way to do this? In list form, of course! Here. We. Go.

How To Be A Perfect Italian Wife:

#15- Cook like your life depends on it. When anyone comes near your cooking pots, swat their hands away and tell them to mind their own business.

#14- Lick your fingers and smooth the nearest man's hair down muttering, "you have a hair out of place."

#13- Ask invasive, intimate questions of EVERYONE, but especially of people you don't know or just met. For instance, "So are you married yet?" or "Is that a gray hair?"

#12- Give opinions no one asked for.

#11- Make your own fresh pasta.

#10- Do everyone's laundry and fold it and put it away for them.

#9-Look really sexy doing everything and wear red lipstick. THINK: Sophia Loren

#8- Drink too much wine on the regular.

#7- Don't ever apologize for your bad habits and when your husband points them out, tell him he should love them.

#6- Listen to Italian music while cooking and sing really loudly (even if you don't have a great voice.)

#5- Host huge family dinners whenever possible.

#4- Laugh a ton and very loudly!

#3- If you are gonna get mad, go big, yelling, stomping, slamming doors--the whole nine. But if you are REALLY mad, don't say a word. Not. A. WORD.

#2- NEVER question your mother in law.

#1- And the number one way to be a perfect Italian wife? Throw the whole list away and just do it your way---because a true Italian wife would never let anyone tell her how to be a wife! 


  1. Omg a true italian wife must walk tall and carry a BIG wooden spoon

  2. I liked #8! Too bad I'm mostly Scotch/Irish! =)

  3. You don't ACTUALLY have to be Italian to be a Bossy, Italian Wife! Heck, you don't even need to be a wife! LOL