Single Sluts and Honest Wives [Red, White & Screwed]

Independence Day... seemed the perfect day to put out a sexy declaration of the independence of women's sexuality. Inappropriate? Try and stop me!

I have been thinking a lot lately about my authenticity as a writer--because, you know, that kind of stuff is important to us writers despite whatever popularity contests we might be trying to simultaneously win. I have resolved to myself to write for myself...which is no small feat considering I live in a small town.

When you actually know the people who are reading your blog sometimes you are afraid that you will be judged by them. And I'm sure it happens... luckily no one has confronted me yet.

Around a family dinner discussion about this very subject at my mother-in-law's house, it occurred to me quite at once that there are a whole host of things that wives can talk about that single women can't. It's a hidden double standard that our society adheres to, however covertly...

Single women who talk about their sexual pleasure? Obviously they are sluts. Married women who profess the same things? Honest. It's my loop-hole. Suddenly talking about sex is no longer taboo because I am legally married. Isn't that funny and sort of sick? I think so. Join me in your outrage and also your elation...depending on your side of the fence.

When I talk about a domination fantasy or a healthy sexual schedule, it's "totally acceptable" because I am only doing it with one man... but for those who are unmarried and wish to be all vocal about it... well, that somehow feels wrong, doesn't it? It's a stupid double standard that I just don't understand, but you know what, if it's going to work for me, I guess I'll take it.

My only hope is that the singe ladies (all the single ladies) will listen to what I have to say and fully embrace their sexuality in the meantime. Because the same exact things that make perceived "slutty" singles makes an honest wife.... You've seen it on Facebook in various forms, (of this I am QUITE CERTAIN.) The one thing a husband will value along with your honesty and loving commitment is your sense of sexual prowess--and that is the truth.

Men want women in touch with their bodies who love sex. Truth. People, in general, are attracted to people who are secure and know what they want. In the end, I am sure it doesn't matter if you've slept with 30 people or three people.... if you know yourself, BE TRUE.

Women shouldn't feel the need to hold back because someone is going to label them. A friend of mine said last week that no matter who you are, if you are woman, and you are writing about sex, someone is going to call you out. I think she was right... but who are we to care? Her speech on that point invigorated me to speak out and be myself even more. Be afraid, be very afraid!

I'm comfortable with myself and my sexuality. It just so happens I am married. When I was single, people called me a slut (which, sorry to disappoint, I have never been), and now that I am married...well, now I am labelled as "honest." Funny, isn't it?

Happy Independence Day! 

1 comment:

  1. love this ....I sang when i got to the All the single ladies part :)