We Need To Talk: Women & Orgasms

I want to talk you all a moment about women and orgasms.

For men, the end result of sex (an orgasm) is a pretty straightforward event. If it doesn't happen, you just know. But for women? Not so. The female orgasm is a tricky thing. So, in the interest of happy women and men everywhere, I want to help everyone break through some misconceptions. Because everyone likes orgasms, and we should know more about them, right?!?!

If you don't know if you've had one, you haven't
This is nothing to be ashamed of. Many women don't know how to have an orgasm because it's just not obvious to them. If you don't know if you've had one, then the greatest odds are that you haven't. But that doesn't mean you can't. When you have an orgasm, as a woman, it's an explosion. You know.

For women, it's in the mind
For a woman who hadn't had an orgasm, having one can become a frustrating prospect. And if they are worried about it in their heads, they are so much less likely to be able to achieve one. This is the catch-22 of the female orgasm. Women are in their heads in a lot...a clear and comfortable mind is the best route to an orgasm. Truly.

There are types of orgasms for women
For men an orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm. For women, though, there are different types of orgasms. One is achieved through clitoral stimulation. Another is achieved through deep vaginal stimulation. They feel different and are stimulated in different areas of the vagina.

Not every woman can "squirt" [but it is real!]
I wanted to talk about this because I thought squirting was a myth until several months ago. That was when one of my girlfriends told me she could squirt. I was floored. I had a thousand questions. After hearing all the details about her adventures in squirting, I tried to see if I could squirt. I can't. I was a little disappointed, but not every woman can....but it is real. It's not a myth. I thought you should know.

Not all women can orgasm from sex 
You can be the cassiest Casanova in the world, but some women just can't orgasm through vaginal intercourse. So you have to get on the clitoris and manually bring your lady to the promised land. It's just how some women are wired.

You need to feel comfortable asking 
As a woman, if you like/need/want something in the bedroom, you need to feel comfortable asking for it. If I've had sex and not had an orgasm yet, I ask my husband for a little more stimulation in just the way I like it. Men [or women!] are generally all too happy to provide you with the position/stimulation you need to get all the way home...so be comfortable and ask. If you aren't comfortable asking, that warrants deeper examination.

The most important thing to remember is that sexuality is natural and beautiful. If you are having trouble with having an orgasm as a woman, there are lots of ways that you can explore your body to find out what feels good to you. Use toys, your hands, and your partner to help you find out what feels the best--because sex is meant to be enjoyed!!! 


  1. LOL - many things to say but you hit the nail on the head!

  2. It's rare, but also possible to orgasm through nipple stimulation alone... Believe it or not, but it happened to me! I was like... wow lol