We Need To Talk: Ovulation

If you are an adult female and you are over the age of 25 and you've never had a proper conversation about ovulation, I want you to know: this is normal. I didn't say it was "right" but it's normal. Ovulation does not seem to be a subject that is breeched until a woman is trying to have children, and then--what do you know-- people wanna tell you all about it. I find this strange.

You see, when I got off birth control, something funny began to happen....my body began to act normally and I began to ovulate. At first, I had no idea what was happening. I don't believe any woman should have to wait until she is actually ovulating to find out what the heck it is. (And no, that weird video from elementary school they showed us does not count.)

Let's break it down, shall we?

What it is, exactly
Ovulation is when your egg is released into your fallopian tube. This egg has one job: to find sperm. The body, is a beautiful and miraculous thing...so while all this egg business is happening, in the name of fertilization, your body goes a little cookoo bananas.

When It happens
Day one of your cycle is the first day that you get your period. (Just so you know exactly where I am starting.) You ovulate about day 14, but this is NOT a hard and fast rule. Basically, you are gonna ovulate about two weeks into your cycle, but it's more of a "window" than an exact day. I track mine using an app for my iPhone. Yep, there's an app for THAT!

What It Feels like
I'm not skipping the grit on this one ladies and gents. Ovulating is like getting smacked with a horny monster who is taking over your body. You get...how should I say this? There's no other way: wet. Really, extremely so. And it's different from any other time in your cycle. This is one of the biggest indicators of ovulation. Your discharge becomes "stretchy" for lack of a better word.

And you want to tackle every penis ever created. Ever. Created. You know those scenes in movies where the woman is like "I'm ovulating!" and she attacks her love partner? Yes, that is probably the most accurate thing you will ever see in a movie. That is precisely what happens to me, anyway.

What else it feels like
On the day I am ovulating, I can feel a pinch on my side where the egg is coming down. I realize that I am incredibly sensitive in all things "body" but I am told a great number of women can feel ovulation, if they know what to look for. Only one egg is released each month, from either the left OR right side. Others say that they can't feel it. But tracking it is one way to know if you can or can't and how your cycle works.

When it doesn't happen, I notice
I am so familiar with ovulating now that I even notice when it doesn't happen. This is a great way to know when you are going to get your period, or to know when you haven't ovulated. This is helpful in knowing your own body (do you notice a pattern?) and knowing what is normal for you. Every woman is different and it's important to recognize the unique rhythms of your body.

How to prevent pregnancy 
As you all know, I am not on birth control anymore. If you are on birth control and it works for you, by all means, stay on it. My doctor all but prophesied my upcoming pregnancy, and as it turned out, he has a penis and knows less about vaginas that his degree and experience would give him credit for. IE- I use condoms when I know I am ovulating, or I don't have sex (which mostly never happens.)

So, I know I am not the only woman out there who is experiencing ovulation and wondering why we aren't talking about it. I want to hear about your experiences. Let's talk about ovulation, ladies! (And gents, by all means, feel free to chime in!) Leave your comments in the section below!


  1. I just learned more about ovulation from your column than I ever learned from my OB/GYN! And, I also now have the app as well :-) Thanks girl!

    1. Well I knew it couldn't just be me!!! LOL Why don't they discuss this stuff with us when it is our bodies!!!!