THIS is the Love I Choose

I want to talk about something I don't believe I have talked about before and that is choosing love. While I don't believe you can fall in love with just anyone, I do believe that people have the potential to love a number of other people. Mathematically, it just makes sense, and in a way, it's good. This is what gives people hope that they can love again after a break up or a horrible tragedy when they lose their lovers, husbands, wives, etc, is it not?

The fact that we can potentially find love with others is a hopeful sort of thing, but also the wild card in many relationships where people have the awful tendency to fall in love outside of their relationships. It happens. When I worked in mental health, I saw countless couples walk through the door who had been causalities to infidelity and it was heartbreaking. Though it wasn't always the end...but that is another post entirely!

What I feel safeguards me in my relationship is the presence of choice. My husband and I are very love, but even more than that, this is the love we choose to have. If we did ever decide to break up (god forbid) could we find love again? Sure. But THIS is the love I choose.

There are all kinds of love in the world. There is passionate love in a marriage, the kind that I feel I have; where we don't always agree, and sometimes that leads to fiery discord and [eventually] enthusiastic make-ups. There is a softer, more gentle kind of love that is based more on friendship. There is love born of necessity. And there are, of course, marriages and relationships where the love is long dead, but the people stay together. They choose that option for whatever reason.

I haven't had the most relationships in the history of the world, but I have had a few. I only dated two people that I considered marrying, and one of them in my husband. The other was Steve Martin. The only hitch? Steve Martin (at the time) believed that marriage was based on friendship, and I disagreed. For me, marriage was based on love. I could not willfully choose that type of love because it never would have made me truly happy.

When I met my husband, we were drawn to one another, and we fell in love. One thing I noticed, though, that was different from the type of love based on friendship was that passionate love takes a ton of work. After love finds you, you have to choose it. Sometimes you have to choose it daily, and even with all that love that flows between you, it's not always an easy choice. Other times, it's the easiest thing in the world, and then so is the choice. But at least you know that in your heart and in your mind, you have the choice and you can make it. Each and every day, I honor the vow I have made to my husband by choosing love with him.

This choice will be different for everyone. The fact of the matter is, this is one type of choice in the matter of love, but that doesn't make it right over anyone else's choice. People generally aspire to be courageous in their love, but in reality, there are a million variations on a theme. And people also change.

Now, I want to hear from you. What type of love do you choose and how does that make you bold and courageous? If you aren't currently attached,  what type of love do you hope to choose? Leave it comments section below! 

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