We're All Complicated

You know how men like to brag about how simple they are? Yea, I don't buy it, either... for as much as women have gotten that bad rap for being complicated, moody, and whatever other things have been assigned to our gender, men are just as bad!

My husband is like a puzzle. I think I have him figured out, the pieces all in place, and then--WHOOPS!--I have not got a clue about it. Well, maybe I have got some clue about it and then I've got some sleuthing to do. Sometimes I feel that men are fortresses, carefully hiding behind whatever armor they have build up and we have to break in to see just what they are hiding.

Part this is likely cultural and sociological. Men are supposed "man up" and women are allowed to be expressive. We are conditioned from the time we are young to behave this way and stay within these gender roles. Even the best efforts of a parent to break through these gender barriers can be thwarted by the overbearing society who very much wants these roles in place.

It makes it harder, though, for men later in life to be especially open with their emotions. Many of us women know the feeling of trying to crack open a man's emotional barrier to see how they are really feeling.... it can be like biting into a jawbreaker. Women, on the other hand, are so expressive many times (at least I know I am) that when a man asks them how they are feeling, it's like opening the dam and before you know it, their emotions have spilled out everywhere.

There is such a divide. One thing I am certain of? We are all complicated beings. The expressive, those who hide it well, and everyone in between--we've got layers of emotion and experience that make us complex and downright hard to figure out at times.

Here's the crazy part: I sort of like it. If we weren't all made up of the complex layers of life and love and emotion, what would there be to learn about each other? And the best part is, when you think you know it all, those layers morph and change and grow and center. It's the stuff that makes relationships evolutionary--both romantic relationships and other relationships.

We are all learning and growing together...that is, if you can hang. Sometimes we get to layers we aren't willing to deal with. Other times, people refuse to show us what is buried beneath the surface. These things are blockers to true closeness in relationships. I love discovering the new places in my husband's emotional palate. I love showing my cards more and more as well. We try our best to break out of what society tells us we should feel or express and just try to live for ourselves and how we truly feel.

So while you might think you are simple, underneath you likely just as complicated as the rest of us... and there is something altogether enjoyable about the experience! 

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